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Corinna(dolldoll)+08.July.1984+Singapore
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[ Friday, January 16, 2004 ]


It all started when she was 6 years old...

While she was playing outside on her farm in California, She met a boy.
He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you chased them and beat them up. After that first meeting in which she beat him up they kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. They would meet at the fence all the time and they were always together. She would tell him all her secrets. He was quite very quiet he would just listen to what she had to say. She found him easy to talk to and she could talk to him about everything. In school they had separate friends but when they got home they would always talk about what happened in school.

One day she said to him that a guy she liked hurt her and broke her heart. He just comforted her and said everything would be okay. He gave her words of encouragement and helped her get over him. She was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But she knew that there was something else about him that her liked. She thought of it that night and figured it was just a friend kinda thing that she was feeling. All through high school and even through graduation they always together and of course she thought of it as being friends. But she knew deep inside that she really felt differently.

On graduation night even though they had different dates to the prom she wanted to be with him. That night after everybody went home She went to his house and wanted to tell him that she wanted to see him. Well, that night was her big chance and all she did was just sit there with him watching the stars and talking about what she was going to do and what he was going to do. she looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said how he wanted to be rich and successful. All she could do was to tell him her dream and cuddle next to him. She went home hurting because she didn't tell him how she was feeling.She wanted to tell him so bad that she loved him but she was too scared and frightened. She let her feelings go and told herself that someday she would tell him just how she felt. All through college she wanted to tell him but he always had someone with him.

After graduation he got a job in New York, She was happy for him but at the same time she was sad to see him go. She was sad also because she didn't tell him how she felt. But she couldn't let him know now that he was leaving for his big job. So she just kept it to herself and watched him go on the plane. She cried as she hugged him for what she felt was going to be the last time. She went home that night and cried her eyes out. She felt hurt that she didn't tell him what she had inside her heart. Well, She got a job as a secretary and then worked her way to a computer analyst. She was proud of what she had accomplished.

One day She got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from him, She was happy and sad at the same time. Now she know that she could never be with him and that they could only be friends. She went to the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. The big church wedding and the reception at the hotel.She met the bride and of course him. She fell in love one more time. But she held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his life. She tried to have fun that night but it was killing her inside watching him being so happy and she trying to be happy covering up her sadness tears inside of her. She left New York feeling that she did the right thing. Before she left on the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his good-byes and how he was very happy to see her. She came home and just tried to forget about what went on in New York. She had to go on with her life.

As the years went on, They wrote to each other on what was going on and how he had missed talking to her. On one occasion he never wrote back to her at all. She was getting worried as to why he hadn't written anything for a long time after she had already written 6 letters to him. Well, just when everything seemed hopeless and sad in her life, She got a note that said: "meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things". She went and saw him there. She was happy to see him, but he was broken-hearted and sad inside. They hugged until they couldn't breathe anymore. Then he told her about the divorce and why he hadn't written for a long time. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Finally, They went back to the house and talked and laughed about what she had been going and to catch up on old times. But in all of this, She couldn't tell him how she felt about him. In the days that followed, he had fun and forgot about all his problem and his divorce. She fell in love again with him. When it came time for him to leave back to New York, She went to see him off and cried. She hated to see him leave. He promised to see her every time he could get a vacation. She couldn't wait for him to come so she could be with him. They would always have fun when they were together.

One day he didn't show up like he said he would. She figured that he might have been busy. The days turned into months and she just forgot about it. Then she got a call one day from a lawyer in New York. The lawyer said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport. And that it took this long till everything was settled. It broke her heart. She was shocked about what took place. Now she knew why he didn't come that day. Again, She was broken-hearted. She cried that night, cried tears of sadness and heartache. Asking questions why did this happen to a kind guy like him? She gathered my things and went to New York for the reading of his will.
Of course, things were given to his family and his ex-wife. She finally got to meet her since the last time they met at the wedding. She explained to her how he was and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy. She would always try everything but she couldn't get him happy, as he was that night at their wedding. When the will was read, the one thing that was given to her was a diary. It was a dairy that of his life. She cried as it was given to her...

As she flew on the plane She remembered the good times that they had together. She started reading the diary and what was written. The diary was started with the day they first met. She read on till she started to cry. The diary told of him saying that he had fallen in love with her that day she was broken-hearted. But he was too afraid to tell her what he had felt. That is why he was so quiet and liked to listen to her. It told of how he wanted to tell me so many times, but was too afraid to say anything. It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with another. How the happiest time he had was seeing her and dancing with her at the wedding. He said he imagined it was their wedding. How he was always unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce his wife. How the best time in his life was to read the letters written to him by her. Finally, the diary ended when it said, "today I will tell her I love her". It was the day he was killed. The day She was going to finally find out what was really in his heart.

If you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow to tell him/her. Maybe
that next day will never come at all.
[ Friday, January 16, 2004 - Corinna ]




[ Thursday, January 15, 2004 ]

A very meaningfull song for you...From : Yue bin


There was once this guy who is very
much in love with his girl...

This ROMANTIC GUY folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes
as a gift to his girl...
although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company,
his future doesn't seemed too bright,
they were very happy together...

Until one day,
his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back.
She also told him that she couldn't visualize
any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed.But when he regains his confidence,
he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind
just to make something out of him....

Finally with all these hard work and the help of friends,
this guy had set up his own company!You never fail until you stop trying.


One rainy day,
while this guy was driving,he saw an elderly couple sharing an
umbrella the rain walking to some destinationEven with the umbrella,
they were still drenched.It didn't take him long to realize those were his girl's parents...
With a heart in getting back at them,he drove slowly beside the couple,
wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan...


He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore;
he had his own company, car, condo, etc.
He made it!


Before the guy can realize,the couple was walking towards a cemetery,
and he got out of his car and followed...


and he saw his girl,
a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone
and he saw his paper cranes beside her...


Her parents saw him.
He asks them why had this happened.
They explained,


she did not leave for France at all...
She was ill with cancer...


She had believed that he will make it someday,
but she did not want to be his obstacle!!...
therefore she had chosen to leave him.


Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.


She had wanted her parents to put his
paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...
he can take some of those back with him..



Once you have loved,
you will always love...
For what's in your mind may escape
but what's in your heart will remain forever...




The guy just wept...



The worst way to miss someone is
to be sitting right beside them
knowing you can't have them.....
hope you would understand...


Find time to realize
that there is one person
who means so much to you,
for you might wake up one morning
losing that person
whom you thought meant nothing to you...


[ Thursday, January 15, 2004 - Corinna ]